The two men start their project by interviewing over 1000 people across the country. The stats and the stories are used frequently throughout the book to show how people are unorganized, unfocused, and over-committed. Although I felt the stories often led credence to their claims, I was disappointed the way they handled some numbers that didn’t fit their expectations. They admit that they were surprised when only 4 out of 10 Christians in their survey felt it was important to have their children in a weekly worship service. One of the reasons they give is that “some of the self-described Christians are not Christians at all.” If they discredit their own study base with this question, then it also should be reflected throughout the book where they do tout the answers of their Christian respondents.
The Rainers’ goal is to provide a framework for people to find more freedom and success. They divide their book by each of these four troubled spots (time, relationships, money and God) and write a systematic plan of attack with a chapter each about clarity, movement, alignment and focus. Every chapter ends with application questions and blank lines for the reader to write their own strategy and put it in to action. If the reader skips this section the book becomes just another “how to” manual; but if actually put into action, this book could be a helpful tool. My suggestion would be to use this book in a small group of people where a chapter could be read a week, each person could share their own story. Then they could develop individual plans and have the relationships for accountability to their goals from week to week.
The strength of this book is that they have kept it simple. The Rainers have tackled four big topics and suggested a framework for improvement. My issue with this book is that it can come across as formulaic; again I think these issues may need the atmosphere of relationships for true growth to take place. I was also unimpressed with the section on how to get close to God—setting a plan, praying more, getting realigned (reading the Bible, going to church, etc) and cutting distractions out of your life. We’ve been reading those instructions for years and hearing it every weekend. “Nearly seven out of ten said that they needed to spend more time on spiritual matters. Most of the Christians say that they need to simplify their lives so that they have more time for God.” Could it be that they are reacting to expectations that they’ve been taught and responding to religious guilt? Maybe learning to be loved by God and loving him back in response is even simpler than that.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
The Simple Life
Friday, November 20, 2009
Unknown in '99, Indispensable Now
Newsweek published a top ten list of items that our culture has become dependant upon in the last decade. It got me to thinking what has impacted my life in the last ten years. Here is my list.
10. Kindle
I’ve always loved to read and usually have a book or two with me. Amazon’s thin, light, and connected reader allows me to cart around a library of books with ease. When I’m using it I forget that I’m not reading on paper. Usually the only time I remember is when someone wants to borrow a book from me and I don’t have a hardcopy to lend them.
9. Twitter
You wouldn’t think that 140 character messages could have the world twitterpated, but it has truly changed the way and the speed in which I gather and disseminate information.
8. Old/New Home
Almost six years ago my family moved into an old house, near my childhood neighborhood, next to my favorite, old park. Gone went the commute, the overcrowding, and the kids’ toys in the living room. This is home.
7. Podcasts
Being able to access quality teaching, conversations, and interviews for free and have it on a mobile delivery system with an iPod has changed the way I learn. What I listen to often changes with the seasons and my educational needs.
6. Facebook
I gave up MySpace in a hot second when I saw that Facebook was more about connections than it was about pimping out a home page. I am still amazed how this social media continues to grow and renew relationships I’ve made through all of my life- grade school, high school, college, mission trips, ministry opportunities, various jobs, and family members who live far away. It has even been a great platform for making and interacting safely with new friends.
5. Blogging
I get to write words from my heart; some people read them. How cool is that!
4. New Definitions
Ministry happens outside of “The Ministry.” Who knew? I didn’t. My role and title have changed but my heart is still the same and there are even more places to share it. My box may be missing but the foundation is firm. Church as a bride, a body, and a family means more to me than church as a thing to attend or do.
3. Focus Seminar
I’m not sure I even know how to put into words how God met me at this seminar. It truly was a new chapter for me understanding who God created me to be. I began to see my identity apart from what I do. This is helping me move away from performance-based living and into the security of truly being loved.
2. The Shack
Papa is especially fond of me!
1. Renton
When Renton was born in April of 2000 it finally felt like all of us were here. Our family stopped expanding but continued growing. He is our exclamation point!
What new things have impacted your life this past decade?
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Blogging Friends vs. Biblestudy Fellowship
Blogging creates new opportunity for community. I have been fortunate to pick up a few readers along the way. While some keep the interaction purposefully one-sided, others leave comments, some send email or private messages, and some readers have even come out from behind their computer screens to invite me to coffee or a meal. Today I had lunch with one of those guys who wanted both a sandwich and a conversation.
We met at a deli and I shook his hand while looking him in the eye and telling him it was nice to finally meet him. The problem was, it wasn’t the first time. Not only had he attended (at least for a while) the church I used to be a pastor at, I’d even had a conversation with him after an Advent service that I’d led. The reason I recognized his face wasn’t from studying his Facebook profile before leaving for our lunch date; it was because I should have remembered him. When he shared that his family never got connected at that church I found it hard to swallow the next bite of lunch because of the guilt in my stomach. At least he was gracious enough to give me another chance at friendship.
We had a great conversation, but it was a bit too one-sided. I answered his questions and filled in the gaps of my life that fall between blog articles. I would have liked to have heard more of his story but our lunch hour break was over.
At one point Doug got up to get a drink refill and the man at the table next to ours came over to chat with me. Apparently I’d been talking a bit too loud.
“I couldn’t help but overhear part of your discussion,” he said a bit nervously, “I’m a new believer like you.”
“That’s fantastic!” I replied, a bit amused and a bit exited about being experienced as a ‘new believer.’
He went on. “What is really helping me grow is this Bible study I’m attending.”
“Good for you!” I offered.
“Ya, were studying the book of John.”
“Cool!”
Then the conversation turned. “I was thinking it could help you too.” He handed me a pre-printed card, with directions to the study, having filled in the appropriate lines with his name, contact information, etc.
“They tell us that if we stay in the program long enough we can learn enough to become teachers.”
I politely took the card from him. A bit more small talk ensued before he went back to his table. I went back to my conversation with Doug.
Later as I drove home I reflected on the contrast the two men brought to my lunch hour; both were fellow believers, both had good hearts, both wanted to connect, yet both had very different approaches. One was driven by curiosity and desire for relationship, the other was at least somewhat prompted by a program.
I felt bad for ‘John’—that his motivation included the fuel of expectation put on him by the Bible study program (the evidence of the cards showed me that part of their training is to recruit others into the study). He even mentioned to Doug and me that he was mustering the courage to speak out about his faith and invite people whenever he could. The whole interaction just wasn’t very natural because it was compromised by a sales pitch.
Here are a couple of random thoughts about the experience:
- I’m glad that John has a Bible study to participate with. He said it is helping him and I have no reason not to believe him.
- I doubt the Bible study program realizes the performance pressure they piling on their participants when they build in recruitment methods.
- John doesn’t need to be in any program for a length of time before having something valuable to teach/share with others. I would have loved to have heard what he is already learning from the Gospel.
- I want to be approachable. I don’t want people to have to muster up the courage to speak to me.
- Confession time—although I’ve left flyers, invitations, etc in public bathrooms and pinned them to coffee shop bulletin boards, I’ve never felt comfortable pushing my event or program on strangers. It feels artificial. I think it comes across that way too.
- And finally, I’m looking forward to my next conversation with Doug. I will truly remember him this time!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Shane Claiborne Addresses Non-Believers in Esquire
If you aren't familiar with Shane Claiborne you should be. His is simple, inspiring and believes that Mercy has come down to earth. He lives that way too.
Esquire magazine, knowing that Shane's writing and his faith-in-action sometimes gets him in trouble with Evangelicals, asked him to write a letter to non-believers.
He starts his letter with an apology, tells a story about a street-preacher in Philly, and then shares some scandalously, redemptive stories. It is a great letter and I hope you click here to read the whole thing.
"The more I have read the Bible and studied the life of Jesus, the more I have become convinced that Christianity spreads best not through force but through fascination."After reading it, come back and let me know what you think.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Did You Unfriend Me? Will I Unfriend You?
The New Oxford American Dictionary announced their 2009 Word of the Year is “Unfriend.” This new entry won over several other interesting words including:
- Zombie Bank – a financial institution with an economic net worth that is less than zero, but which continues to operate because its ability to repay its debts is shored up by implicit or explicit government credit support.
- Hashtag – Twitter users use a hash symbol (#) followed by a word for the purpose of categorizing their tweet.
- Intexticated – Driving-while-texting.
- Birther – Someone who doubts (despite the evidence) that President Barack Obama was born in the USA.
- Death Panel – What former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin said would happen with health care rationing.
- Sexting – Carrie Prejean’s biggest mistake of her life X 8.
- Deleb – A dead celebrity.
- Tramp Stamp – a tattoo on the lower back, usually on a woman.
The truth is I have a lot of friends with different viewpoints than mine. I don’t find it safe anymore just to surround myself with people who think the same as I do. I realize I have a lot to learn from others with different opinions, backgrounds and belief systems. My interaction with them may not change the way I believe, but it tends to make me change my behavior. I’m finding more room for compassion and understanding and much less room for judgment. I’m learning how to befriend and to be a friend.
In this journey I have less tolerance for the intolerant. I have less patience for those who are impatient. I have less desire to listen to those who don’t know when to remove the sock stuffed in their ears and move it to their mouth for a season.
I tried dialoging with this person, but it was only met with debate. I tried shutting it out, but her shouting remains too loud to ignore. My option, at least in the social networking playground, is to unfriend her.
It is a sword that cuts both ways. My last post about leaders taking a humble stance led me to get unfriended by a couple of conservative friends that are convinced Obama is the devil’s seed. One was so kind to toss a verbal grenade on my Facebook wall before she clicked the unfriend button. Touché.
It’s rare that I’ve felt the need to protect myself with this social networking function, but I’m glad it is available.
How about you? Have you ever unfriended someone? Why did you do it? If you’ve been unfriended yourself, why did you get pushed out of the circle?
Do you have a Tramp Stamp?
A Bowing President? God Forbid! Right?
I’ve read a couple news reports regarding President Obama’s trip to Asia. I’ve also read several furious diatribes over the fact that he bowed to the Japanese Emperor and his wife. Apparently an American President should never lower himself/herself to show deference to another leader. A firm handshake, which is acceptable in our culture, makes it appear that we are on a level playing field; but every red-blooded, patriotic American expects our President to squeeze a little tighter than the world leader standing across from them—especially if they are from former, Soviet Bloc countries.
Really? Really America? Do we seriously need a leader who demonstrates dominance? Am I missing something here? Is it bad for our President to exhibit respect for another country’s leader and their culture, especially when visiting their homeland? Does the United States have a God-given platform on which to dictate protocol?
Some of this babblygook I’m hearing is from conservative Christian pundits, which surprises me. In his letter to the Philippians, Paul describes Jesus’ trip to our world like this:
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:Humble leaders. Maybe you don’t like their politics, but what do you think about their posture?
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
Eugene Cho adds to the conversation here.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
How Not To Lead Worship
Curt Harlow filmed his "Top 10 Worship Taboos." Do you recognize anyone with these traits? Feel free to email them a link to this post. It is sort of a passive/aggressive means of confronting your worship leader, but if they aren't responding to the anonymous notes you put in the offering plate, this video might just do the trick.
Can you come up with any more?
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Going the Extra Mile
This week has been full of events and people, some planned and some spontaneous. This morning we were looking forward to some fun time together as a family. We slept in, woke to a beautiful dusting of snow, baked apple-streusel muffins, went to an estate sale and headed down to the Discovery Center for “Operating Room Day.”
Local nurses and medical technicians volunteered their time and equipment to set up mock surgery stations for kids and their parents to see how to perform a laparoscopic surgery, replace a knee joint, fix a spinal fracture, intubate a mannequin, perform CPR on a dummy, put sutures in a sponge, and cauterize a lemon. Last year the event was packed so we were expecting to rub elbows with a crowd of adults hoping the hands on experiments would lead their offspring to med school.
There was no parking available in the lot, so I dropped off Jamie and our four kids, promising I’d join them inside as soon as a space opened up. Trying to find a nearby spot was impossible because of the college football game a half mile down the road with two in-state rivals. I pulled out of the way of any new incoming traffic and waited for a family to finish their play day of hospital rounds.
Fifteen minutes later a couple of dads strolled out with several kids in tow. I pulled around the row and positioned myself behind their pickup. At the same time a car backing down the lane to try and take the spot. I honked my horn afraid that the driver didn’t see me there and that I’d get bumped. The driver put the car in park and got out of the vehicle. A woman approached my window telling me that the space was hers.
I explained to her that I’d been sitting in the lot for 15 minutes waiting for a spot to open while I had just seen her car pull into the lot. She didn’t back down.
I was processing quickly, thinking about what was on the line—my Christian witness, my WWJD bracelet, my reputation as a (former) local pastor, when she played the single mom card.
“Listen, I’m a single mom so I should get the space. I need that space.”
Really? Really single mom? You deserve to go into the building with your kids before I get to go in with mine because of your marital status? You are going to power up on me over this space because of that? We are supposed to forego any other rationale for parking space protocol because I brought my wife and you don’t have a husband?
I was spinning. My mind was on overload as she continued on with her reasoning. At first all I got out in response was, “Oh brother, lady…” and then when she wrapped up her speech against all that was married and male she waited for me to crumble from guilt.
I didn’t.
I recognize that being a single parent is very difficult. I am not unsympathetic to their plight. Parenting is difficult enough with two parents; I can’t imagine the challenges of doing it alone.
I recognize that disputes over silly little things like parking spaces are worthless uses of energy and that there were many options to solve today’s dilemma.
I recognize that I was triggered today by someone demanding a sacrifice of me. I could have looked at her as the Roman soldier telling me to carry his pack for a mile. Maybe I should have not only have given her the space but offered to park her car for her.
I also recognize that I have often placed what I think is ministry over the needs of my own family. Sometimes that may be a good decision. Some days not.
Today the ministry that was in my heart was in the shape of four kids that were already in the Discovery Center. Some days they need me going the extra mile. For them.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Church Leader Look Alikes
Skye Jethani, the managing editor of Leadership Journal, had a hilarious blog post today comparing the looks of popular Christian leaders and their Hollywood counterparts.
He missed this one.
